Insane Coincidence

Maybe I am out of my mind, but my ears are still working well. When I heard the little bell in the front door ranging, I decreased the temperature of the oven and ran to the bar counter see who had arrived. With a blood colored lipstick in her lips and the jasmine smell of her cheap perfume that mixed with the smell of my cake in the kitchen, she came to the bar counter, put her old black leather purse on the bench and sit in another. In silence, she was looking to nowhere. She seemed hypnotized. Distressed, I wished her good morning and with her lost eyes, she started to talk.

― Everywhere I used to go, everybody loved to see me. The men wanted to date me, and the women used to try dressing like me. I was the beauty in his human state. I am telling you the truth. Look at this picture – she said as she took a piece of an old paper out of her purse – Don’t you see? I was beautiful. Perfect! Look. That is me after my twenty-fifth birthday. It was a special day. You know, I got the feeling that beautiful people are the most suffered with the hands of time. For a long time, I had the best clothes, perfumes, and jewels. Everything I wished came to me without any effort. Now, holding her purse into his arms, she backed her eyes without breath to nothing. She was living on her old memories, in a past of perks, richness, and beauty. Maybe she never had imagined that one day she will sit on an old bar counter of and old bar downtown, full of drunkards, prostitutes, and beggars. What irony, right here, in my bar. I tried to break the silence and to capture that lost eyes that was concentrated in a world that only she had the keys. ― Do you need something, ma’am? ― Yes. I need to be loved. I need someone who treats me as I deserve. I’d like to feel special again. I want to live in peace. And, yes, I would like to order a whisky. I took a dusty bottle that was on the shelf, came back to her with a whisky cup, a doser and the bottle. ― I have never imagined me drinking something like this… This shit. Oh lord! I’ve already told you, eh? I used to have everything I want. He gave me everything, but he never gave me love, but that is ok. I did not care about it. Fuck loving! Fuck lovers! I liked his presents, not his presence. The truth is that I hated him. I never loved him. Without ice, please. – she said spiting a bubblegum on a napkin. – It was here, in this shitty city, where the sun fries people’s brain and takes out our sanity. It was here that my disgrace has begun. I swear you; I swear! It was not my fault! – she told me while drinking the whisky and smudged her blood colored lipstick. I was only listening and observing her. I was scared of all that anguish and emptiness. She was just a maladjusted, boozy, insane, and decadent body. She was still looking to nowhere. She seemed not to care. The truth is that she never cared. Anyone could be her audience on her decadent role she was acting. Suddenly the smell of his cheap perfume turned into a burnt smell. It was the oven. I remembered that it was working, so I ran to kitchen. The cake was lost. Actually, everything was lost. For a while I thought that it should be an illusion of my lost head. “How could she be so selfish?”, I thought while I came back to the bar counter. That was enough. I was decided. Even more than in my frustrated past. I squeezed her face violently and captured that lost eyes. We were face to face. ― Look at my face! Are you seeing? Look at the lines of the time, the spots, the warts… Every mark on my face came with the time. And do you know what I have learned from that? During our stay in this shitty world, we hurt ourselves too much, but we also can cure ourselves. And after a cure, we hurt ourselves again, and again, and again… At the end, that beautiful and young face became what we really are and brings all the scars caused by our hits and misses. No, Lucy! It is not the hands of time the responsible for our destruction. The responsible is us. And there is nothing we can do about it. Today, I feel so sorry that you are so destroyed inside and outside of you. As me, you didn’t learn, and you won’t learn. Our lives were a big mistake of god. You had a failed marriage and I had, and still have, a miserable loneliness. Are you seeing me, Lucy? Can you remember me? This is truly me. I think that was the last time I have seen her. While I hold her face, I could touch her sobs of crying. A last kiss in her bloody mouth made me feel all the salt of the unhappiness that was overflowing of her eyes. We move away from each other. Our souls would never be so closed again. Without a word, she left me and went as always, she does. I remembered about the cake. As me and her, it was lost.